The Princess and the Pee

Toilet training. If you’re there, may the force be with you. If you’re not there yet….maybe scroll on and don’t read this for fear that you will start researching the availability of adult nappies and psychological side effects of toilet training kids when they start Uni.

I have what I would consider to be a successfully toilet trained little girl. However, this title comes with certain stipulations that have been thoroughly negotiated. And when one of the negotiators uses weeing on your rug as a deal maker, you’ll find the ball generally tends to land in their court.

Finding myself pregnant with our second baby just shy of Miss Boo’s second birthday, I made the decision that toilet training would commence and conclude within the duration of the pregnancy. She however, decided to make me work for it.

The problem is not teaching them that the wee wee goes into the potty. Once a kid is ready, they (usually) get the gist of that fairly quickly. The issue lies with them being faced with the choice of Get Up and Go To The Toilet or Continue Playing This Game and Sort It Out Later.  Given that they’re not in charge of laundry or shampooing the carpets, it’s a pretty easy conclusion for them to take the latter. Plus, Mum clapping hysterically in an attempt of positive re-enforcement isn’t nearly as entertaining as In The Night Garden.

So the call must be made: Do I put her in undies and spend all my time armed with a mop or do I stick her in pull-up nappies and run the risk of her thinking she’s won?

Undies: The Pros – If they’re wet, they may learn that it’s uncomfortable and it’ll prompt them to use the toilet. They find new novelty in being able to wear pink frilly attire and it intrigues them to give it a go.

Undies: The Cons – They may find that when they’re wet it’s annoying, but not as annoying as having to leave the cubby house they just made. You have to wash. And wash….and wash.

I opted to go for the cold turkey, no more nappies, this is just how it’s going to be now approach. This wasn’t a well researched plan of attack, the choice was made purely on the fact that our Miss Boo is one of the most stubborn little women you will ever meet and success usually derives only from a lengthy stand-off.

The problem with this is that she refused to give in without making it known that she was in charge of this situation. For example: “Do you need to go to the toilet?” “No.” “Do you need to go to the toilet?” “No.”… approach cash register with trolley of groceries…”Mum, I need to go to the toilet. Now.”

Babysitters also pose a problem. Where I was quite happy to stand arms crossed at one end of the bathroom, manning the only means of escape while she was battled into submission by her swelling bladder, others weren’t so keen on the harshness of that environment. 

Nor did most of them have the time to mind wrestle with her while she stood there tapping her foot chanting “I’m not going to go you know”.

So where did all this drama land us?

She no longer requires nappies and will notify us when she has to go, however the agreed terms are as follows:

Miss Boo may be as selective as she desires when electing a toilet that is not her own (“This stall?” “Nope.” “This one?” “Nope.” etc), and may require an ETA on home time to weigh up her options. 

Miss Boo may vary her level of notification time depending on the type of game nature calls during.

Miss Boo may demand to be taken to the toilet if Mummy is breastfeeding Miss Moo and therefore not supplying adamant attention. 

Miss Boo’s choice of ‘wiper’ is valid and final. Regardless of whether they are in the venue or not.

Miss Boo may demand an audience and entertainment be supplied if she feels she’ll be there for an extended length of time.

Miss Boo may drink excessive amounts of beverages to delay bedtime as she knows that final toilet stop is the last call before bedtime.

As I said, if you’re there, may the force be with you. May you find a plan of attack that suits your little one and may you always have an abundance of floor cleaner.